It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
