I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
