My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize