If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
