So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
