My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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