What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
