when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
