Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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