walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
