You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize