Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
