Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just made out with a guy for $7.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
