it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
