Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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