Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.

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  (734): Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle. http://tfl.nu/qw5y
  Replies (4) Good night (1758) Bad night (698)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical

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  (314): I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical http://tfl.nu/2sib
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (1525)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar

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  (703): I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar http://tfl.nu/9wq5
  Replies (4) Good night (3157) Bad night (610)
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  (925): View more from California

  They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.

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  (925): They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah. http://tfl.nu/e2zc
  Replies (71) Good night (936) Bad night (6888)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.

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  (317): eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped. http://tfl.nu/504u
  Replies (65) Good night (7051) Bad night (1732)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.

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  (828): I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office. http://tfl.nu/0hvj
  Replies (7) Good night (1523) Bad night (3823)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.

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  (479): I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke. http://tfl.nu/g10c
  Replies (4) Good night (2907) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.

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  (208): Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it. http://tfl.nu/9b8s
  Replies (9) Good night (3952) Bad night (1037)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR

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  (604): I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR http://tfl.nu/a8v0
  Replies (15) Good night (3106) Bad night (1877)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.

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  (229): I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did. http://tfl.nu/0cy8
  Replies (12) Good night (1285) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face

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  (+44): Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face http://tfl.nu/5obj
  Replies (19) Good night (773) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.

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  (541): Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity. http://tfl.nu/lznq
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  YOU ARE MY HERO

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  (609): I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet... (856): YOU ARE MY HERO http://tfl.nu/qvso
  Replies (8) Good night (736) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail

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  (651): When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail http://tfl.nu/zj29
  Replies (0) Good night (466) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.

  (310): View more from California

  When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.

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  (805): I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food. (310): When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis. http://tfl.nu/o33e
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (172)

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