So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.