he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
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He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
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YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...