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yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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