so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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