My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
