Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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