i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
