he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize