hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
