i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
