...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
