I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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