im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i came on her dog
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He? As in you personified your dick?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize