Ambien. No doubt about it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize