There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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