just survived the first fart of the relationship.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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