You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wish you could order shots online.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
