his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
where are my eyebrows?
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