What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
