Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
