Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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