Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
