Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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