No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
