3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize