You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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