Buhtt sex?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
