so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Welp...herpes.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
