she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
