girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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