You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize