And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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