i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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