why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
