I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize