definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
