i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
