Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize