Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
