I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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