You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
