So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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