I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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