oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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