If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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