oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
