Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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