is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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